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13 hours ago with 89,881 notes


ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have

15 hours ago with 4,296 notes
16 hours ago with 182,569 notes
16 hours ago with 192,845 notes



if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember that one time i had to fly with my cello so we bought it a seat

and it got upgraded to first class

without me

i hate being that guy who adds onto a text post but my dad is a cellist and he has to buy a seat for his cello every time he has to fly somewhere for a show and the cello has become such a valued customer for airlines that we regularly get mail addressed to “Cello Friesen” for airfare deals and stuff

17 hours ago with 192,232 notes




Promoing at the beach

Ancient Roman prostitutes did something similar, but usually they would have phalluses inscribed in their sandals. So, if you were ever in the mood, you could just look down and follow the dicks.

follow the yellow dick-road

I love history lessons on tumblr.
18 hours ago with 216 notes



what do you call a roomful of fungus?

a mushroom

18 hours ago with 59,901 notes
18 hours ago with 95,457 notes



ok here’s something for you to do listen carefully

play this video but mute it

and then

open this one up but DO NOT have it muted

then play both videos and watch and feel emotions you’ve never felt before

18 hours ago with 20,239 notes
18 hours ago with 1,217 notes